Thursday, February 01, 2007

July 05, 2005

Unimatrix Zero

It's funny how sometimes things can just hit you. Especially when the thing that hits you is a totally new thought, one that hasn't ever really entered into your way of thinking and then Boom there it is right in your face staring you down depressing you etc....

So there I was set to watch the local fireworks show on TV as I have done a couple of times before, it's a pain to go to the show live especially alone (read ahead). I don't normally mind seeing it on TV, it's nowhere near as good but at least you can hear the music and get the general idea.

So what happens about 4 minutes into the show? Nothing to most people, but to me I became completely depressed. I was in the house alone tonight, and I felt just that, totally and completely alone. I found myself wishing I had someone to share it with, talk with make fun of it with anything but alone I was and alone I stayed....

I don't know what caused the feeling of aloneness, could have been many things I suppose. The fact that just last week I spent an entire night/morning walking through a casino with a cute and nice girl just talking, walking, joking around and generally having fun. Possibly the fact that some married friends were in town with their kids last week (we all went to the casino), that could have gotten me thinking in that direction I suppose. Might even have been the fact that this is the first time in a very very long time I've been in a house totally alone, no dogs or anything. Or I suppose it could even be the fact that the house I am alone in tonight is a house that is now sold but had been in my family since it was built in 1969.... Could be anything all I know is that it didn't make for a pleasant viewing.

.........As for the firework show I wasn't impressed... This particular show (At the Fort Vancouver Historic Reserve in Vancouver Washington) has been having money problems for nearly 10 years now but always seems to make it in the end... However the budget cuts are showing, it used to be well over an hour then they cut to 45 minutes, this year they barely made it past 39. The fireworks were just ok, nothing as cool as I remember when I was younger, although those times have the benefit of a young perspective. Worst of all this year however came with the music selection, they hit most of the good songs but there was one HUGE omission... for the first time in as many years as I have been viewing this particular show (I'm 24 so lets say the last 20 years) they did not end the finale with the song "God Bless the USA" by lee Greenwood. Boneheaded decision if you ask me.

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