Monday, December 24, 2007


Yep thats right it is after midnight so it is time to queue the sappy post. So I hope that everyone is having a happy holiday season. Remember take it easy this week because new years is coming up!

Since it is officially the 25th now (at least in the coast I'm on) I have to say if you celebrate it have a Merry Christmas, I hope you are on the nice list this year.

Robot Santa is always watching

As a token of good will I invite you to enjoy a telling of “Twas the Night Before Christmas” Bundy style.

An Askewed Secret

I did not care for “A Christmas Story.” Did not care for it.

I know it almost sounds like blasphemy. I mean everyone just LOVES the movie right? I just could not get into it at all, and believe me I've had plenty of times to give it a shot as I'm the only member of my family who doesn't enjoy it. That may actually have helped push me across the limit of just feeling nothing towards it into really just disliking it. I've been forced to sit through “A Christmas Story” almost as many times as I've been forced to sit through “The Wizard of Oz” (Thats a rant for another day).

Ok I admit that there are a few scenes that I don't mind or chuckle at but luckily for me every single one of them is shown in the previews that air over and over and over again, at least they used to. For the record if I were Santa I'd put a boot to Ralphie's face too.

But above all you know why I just couldn't get into “A Christmas Story?” It insists upon itself, Lois.

So if you need me I'll be spending my Christmas searching for what I consider to be the best Christmas story of all time, “It's a Bundyful Life.”

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Good fight, good night

I've often wondered how many five year olds I could take in a fight but now thanks to over at the mystery is solved!


No actual five years olds were injured in the making of this post ......yet

Tuesday, December 18, 2007


I was bored earlier and going through my DVD collection nothing sounded good (it was one of those nights). That is until I came to my TV DVDs and yanked out "Freaks and Geeks." The show just never disappoints...well except for the part where there wasn't a second season but that isn't really the shows fault.

Doesn't Seth Rogen look fairly clean cut here? Relatively speaking of course.

We'll file this show under the "Too good and therefore had to be squashed" category.

Stay tuned next time when no movies sound good again and I drop in some "Wonderfalls"

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Monday, December 10, 2007

Blurb time!

When I popped "Swing Time" into my DVD player I wasn't sure what my exact reaction would be. All I knew was that it was on a couple of lists of movies that I'm still (slowly) trying to work my way through and that it is a movie from an era that I am for the most part unfamiliar with (movie wise I mean).

So when the flick turned out to be quite enjoyable I was a tad surprised, but in a good way.

Just watching that made me tired

Friday, December 07, 2007

Then I woke up...

OK it is official. I'm on the Josh Brolin bandwagon. Yes yes I know I'm the last person left on Earth to jump aboard but still.

Now quit reading and go see "No Country For Old Men".A clear cut 5+ star flick in my book!

Thursday, December 06, 2007


While Dawson cries

Pacey abides...

No, I'm not sure why.

But I feel compelled to post some Kim Wilde for you to stuff into your eye and ear holes! (surveys have said those are the best openings to absorb music videos through)

FGFC: "The Hand"

Wow is it really time for another Final Girl Film Club pick already? Actually it is, no wait that isn't right let me try that again. Actually it WAS. Yep the 3rd was the due date. But I can't be held down by society's rules man! Besides, somehow I managed to convince myself that the due date was the 5th. That being that the plan was to get this done on the 4th and pretend that I was somewhat reliable and almost on the ball. Then I realized, nah why start being responsible now? Besides sending getting this done today (the 5th) really sends a message out to “the man.” That message is I'll not conform to you man! At least not until I train myself to use a to do list....

Since I didn't have the movie in front of me while writing I'll be skipping the play by play. Sadly my memory betrays me when I don't have the flick playing. I could attempt it but about two paragraphs in it would start to morph from “The Hand” into a mixture of “Serenity”, “Clerks”, “Cannibal the Musical”, and “Rudy.” Which incidentally is a script I am planning on pitching to all of the Hollywood fat cats some day.

So, where was I? Oh yeah. This month the pick was The Hand. Another flick from that gem of a year 1981. In DnD terms being created in 1981 automatically makes this a Movie +3.

As usual I went in knowing precious little about the plot. Only that it involved a severed hand, death, and a young Michael Caine. This left quite a bit to my imagination. In my head I had taken Think from “The Addams Family” and mixed him with Ash's hand from the “Evil Dead” flicks and hit puree. So I was surprised when they went with more story than gore-ey.

...ughh can we all just pretend that I didn't type that last part?

And onto random scattered blathering thoughts that crept out of my caffeine deprived skull.

The Good

The effects. What is up with the awesome creepy effects that came out of 81? I've seen movies with large budgets from the last year or two who couldn't compete with the creepiness of the crawling hand in “The Hand” and my God what the hell was up with the brutal severing of the hand in the first place?

Michael Caine was great. I can't stress that enough. I've always enjoyed his work. Shamefully I haven't seen as much of it as I would like so it was great for me to see him actually leading a movie. Even if his younger look did remind me of some sort of creepy cross between Eric Idle and Gene Wilder (Admit it you saw it too, didn't you? Didn't you?!?). Physical appearance aside Caine was just great and he was forced to do his work. Was there an emotion he didn't have to go through here?

That hand flying off gets my newly created “Fuck that moment of the movie” award. Because seriously, losing your hand (and in turn your career) in that manner...fuck that!

How great is the phrase “Silly cow” when referring to a poor driver that is annoying you? Or anyone for that matter. I think I'll start using it. At least until the first punch is thrown.

Plot and character development? Gotta say I wasn't expecting as much of it as I got, and that is a good thing.

OK, this maybe over sharing a bit but I think you all can take it. I really really enjoy off the wall semi-inappropriate art. Were I the type to plaster my walls with framed paintings and sketches those would be the type I would go for. Off the wall, ya know what I mean? Well the sketch that Jon(or the hand) sneaks into Stella's sketch book totally fits the bill! I'm kicking my own ass for forgetting to grab a screen shot of it. Well I'm not kicking it yet, but once I'm done writing here I'm totally taking myself out back and beat the stuffing out of myself. But yeah anyway I loved the sketch, quite disturbingly awesome.

The less than good

This is a personal one and not really a knock on the movie technically but... I have a real aversion to adultery, even in movies. It just rubs me the wrong way and inspires that creepy look away not having fun feeling. Consequently I hated Bill immediately and nearly as quickly I started really hating Anne.

So that may have helped, but really I couldn't get into Anne at all as a character. Other than the daughter is there any reason Jon should like her? Again I say Ugh.

Final Thoughts

I bring up again Michael Caine. “The Hand” doesn't work without him. He worked his butt off and what could have come across as half assed and forgettable he really made it work.

I jump on and off the Oliver Stone bandwagon, I either really like or really dislike is stuff usually. I'm putting “The Hand” down in the “W” column for him. Also from now on because of this movie I am now reserving the right to refer to Stone as a “dirty bum” anytime I choose. I'll make sure to use the term anytime that “Alexander” crosses my path.

But above all my total final thought is; Whatever rambling I've done here does not do the movie justice. In the right frame of mind I decry “The Hand” a movie that you really really should at least rent.

1981: Still rockin' and rollin' struttin' and strollin'!

No don't ask my why that last phrase came to my mind because I don't know. I also don't know how the picture of the toy Rocker's worked it's way into the end here, so let's all just smile and pretend not to notice them OK?

Boomer Sooner

Monday, December 03, 2007


Oops, I completely spaced and thought that the FGFC was due on the 5th of this month so I'm a little slow. Working on writing something now, but it'll be a while yet.

In the meantime please allow the musical stylings of Peter Griffin to sooth yet excite you.

Boomer Sooner