Saturday, July 28, 2007


What kind of jackass loser would thinks it is "funny" or "cool" to screw with someones satellite dish?

This isn't even the first time it has happened here. Living in the middle of crapville the dish has to be on a pole near the street....Thank goodness there are no street lights near the house here..........

Just one more reason on the LONG long list of shit to hate about this place.

And I was having such a decent night too, just got done watching "Duel" which was incredible..but now all the thoughts I had about it are gone.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Update: I call shenanigans!

Since when does UPS deliver to the post office instead of the doorstep? Man I love living in a small town in the middle of nowhere.

...I am very close to revising my "On Notice" list.

FGFC: "Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon"

Ah another month and another Final Girl Film Club review.


What would you get if you put “Halloween” and “This Is Spinal Tap” in a blender and slapped the puree button¹ ? An ungodly mess of chopped up tape and plastic all over the really need to remember to put the lid on those blenders. If instead you just took the ideas behind the two movies and mixed them together then you may end up with something resembling “Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon.”

As is fast becoming my tradition with the FGFC selections I went into this one fairly blind. I read no reviews and only barely looked at the synopsis on Blockbuster's site as I added it to my queue....which by the way ended up being wasted effort as I couldn't get it sent, long wait they said! I think this is another tradition in the Film Club...tracking down a copy of the movie. Worry not though, two honest to god B&M Blockbuster visits later I had a copy of the movie in my hands. Let me just say that it was totally worth the effort.

¹ I'm sure that I am totally the first person ever to make that comparison...I'm so clever!

The Basics

Leslie Vernon (Nathan Baesel) is a man who takes pride in his chosen career. So much so that he allows a grad student, Taylor Gentry(Angela Goethals) and her documentary crew to follow him around as he makes the preparations and gets himself ready for his big night. This all seems normal and good until you take into account that Leslie Vernon's “Big Night” is all about him solidifying his status as a legend along the likes of , Freddy, Jason, and Michael Myers.

Yep you heard me right, in a world where “Nightmare”, “Friday”, “Halloween”, etc... are real events Leslie wants to solidify his name and legend up on the list. Not only that but he also wants to show the world just how he achieves this massive accomplishment.

What works for me

How awesome is that? The flip side of a horror movie, screw following the victim around all they do is normal everyday thing until the action starts. This time we get to follow the killer around and see as he......does everyday things until the action starts. What?

All joking aside the idea is just fresh enough to work. Not only that but the movie is able to simultaneously pay homage and poke fun at slasher films (sometimes in the same breath) and do it in a respectful way, that makes me happy.

The pacing of the movie was done really well, about two thirds of the movie were spent in the “set-up” stage while the last third was spent playing out the actual execution (pun only semi-intended(unless it was hilarious, then it was totally intended(if it wasn't funny at least this set of multiple parentheses are(right?)))) of the plans.

Leslie himself was actually (for the most part) a likable character, which given the circumstances and his intentions is quite disturbing in itself. He came off as for the most part playful and happy, like anybody might be if they were doing their dream job and making their greatest wishes come true. He of course also had his dark side, his quirks, his eccentricities if you will. But really other than his ultimate goal of manslaughter(teenslaughter) on a grand scale he wasn't so terribly unusual.

Maybe it is just the fact that I recently have been going through a lot of very good classic slashers for the first time (Halloween, Friday the 13th, Friday the 13th Part 2, Last House on the Left, among others) but I really had a good time picking out all of the references that were all over the place. Let's not forget that there were some impressive cameos as well! In fact one of my favorite references was combined with an awesome cameo. That would be Zelda Rubinstein appearing as librarian Mrs. Collinwood(Last House on the Left reference of course). By the way if there is anyone out there who doesn't enjoy a good Zelda Rubinstein cameo please let me know who you are so I can make sure that you get a punch in the crunch(I'm not sure where “the crunch” is, but I'm sure it is painful).

Speaking of Cameo's how great was it to see both Freddy and Jason in a movie together again? Even if they didn't share any screen time, and one of them was only fleeting...still, cool!

Lastly and most importantly. Any movie that is in any way, shape, or form made in, around, or about Oregon is automatically 3.141592653% more awesome.

Final Thoughts

Final thoughts? As I said I really dug this movie, I've recommended it to my horror loving friends already. But still every rose has it's ...not so rose-like side to it and as such “Behind the Mask” wasn't perfect.

I would have liked some more time with Doc Halloran, he could have been a more major player with a much better background if they had found the time to squeeze it in. Plus honestly, how great would it be to see Robert Englund take a more active role in fighting off a psychopath?

While I'm complaining about characters..and be careful here cause so far I haven't been very spoilerish, but I might tread on that water here. Early on Taylor confused me a bit, I could never tell if she was morally ambiguous(like many of todays “infotainment” reporters seem to be) or just naive. One minute while interviewing Leslie she seems to be appalled at his murderous plans, the next she is running out to the library parking lot and jumping for joy with him because his plan of killing the librarian not only went ahead as planned but netted him his “Ahab”. Which is it? Are you sickened by the death, or does it thrill you? ...Why was Killing Mrs. Collinwood ok but killing two coital teenagers is crossing a line?

The twist ending was obvious, but pulled off well. When I think about it actually I realize that without the twist the ending would have been really boring. I mean we had already seen hims “plans” in a flash forward sense, so something had to be changed....Still, a little bit more effort to hide what the plans were at least during the beginning would have been fine with me.

In the end the only real complaint I can make. The only thing that truly irked and bothered me to the core of my soul is Leslie's insistence on using the term “Survivor Girl.” While that term may or may not be industry correct I think we all know the truth. The term is “Final Girl” dammit!

Saturday, July 21, 2007

I call shenanigans!

Ok let me get this straight. I order an item a long time in advance, I pay extra shipping to assure that it is on my doorstep on the Saturday morning that it is ships, it travels (I checked the UPS tracking) and everything looks fine...Then Saturday morning comes and no package, no nothing. Well I live out in a rural area so I figured that it would probably be in the afternoon anyway...But in the afternoon no package. I get a little upset by about 4 so I check on the tracking status and it claims deliery at 8 in the morning. Well that itself isn't that unusual either, for some reason since moving here packages constantly say "delivered" when they mean "on truck for deliver" but this is the first time that the damned thing didn't make an appearance at all on the delivery date.

Obviously I'm talking about the new Potter book, which I'm not really that fanatical about. I like the books good enough, I don't preach them or anything. I did want to get to read this one before the spoilers ran wild...which now apparently won't happen. Unless of course I shut myself in and don't touch the Internet until I can clear up this little snafu.

Oh how I long for the day that I can sit back and have all of my media delivered to me on my sweet sweet Interociter

Friday, July 20, 2007

On Notice

Yes I blatantly stole this post idea from Wil Wheaton who has a far superior (and funnier) list of his own

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

In which I ruin your day

by making you realize that you know every word to this gem from Toni Basil

Don't feel too horribly though because I know the words as well. Even worse finding the below clip reminded me that due to the inclusion of Eliza Dushku I have been forced to add to my long list of things to do before I die "See Bring It On".

Damn you Eliza why do you do these things to me!

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Friday the whatnow?

Before I go any further I would like to mention I had originally intended to get this done and up by the actual Friday the 13th so I could participate in the awesome Final Girl Friday the 13th Blog-a-Thon. Unfortunately due to a series of unfortunate incidents (probably not involving Jim Carrey) I wasn't able to make deadline...

That doesn't mean I'm just going to roll over and be silent. In fact this is going to be quite rant-ish! You see I watched “Friday the 13th” for the first time last week. Yep I said first time. Some day maybe I'll tell you about how I was tortured with horror movies when I was younger and so only now in my 26th year of life have I seen both “Halloween” and “Friday the 13th” for the first time....I still haven't watched “A Nightmare on Elm Street”.

So, onto “Friday.” I'm skipping my regular(boring) semi-review, we all know whats up here. Bad stuff happened at a camp a long time ago, camp is about to reopen, bad stuff happens again, yadda yadda yadda. Right? ...Though if I were doing my review I would mention how I was very pleasantly surprised that this was a “Holy shit there is a psycho killing people” movie instead of a “Holy shit there is a supernatural psycho killing people” movie.

Instead I am just going to point out the one scene that blew my mind in a bad way¹....

Picture it, you are in a cabin on a dark rainy night with nothing to do, it is decided a game is to be played, someone grabs Monopoly and hauls it over. Then all of a sudden out of nowhere Alice exclaims “I hate Monopoly”....Really Alice, hate? You hate Monopoly? Are you even an screw that are you even a human? Hate Monopoly??? Do you hate the flag and puppies as well? I suppose you stomp kittens in your spare time as well? I assume you have plenty of spare time, what with your “hate” of Monopoly! ....I'll be honest, I can't wait until I get Friday the 13th part 2 in the mail now just because I KNOW that Alice and her Monopoly hating days must come to an unpleasant end.

...But lets not dwell on the girl who didn't die, lets focus on one that did(and probably deserved it as you will see). Ok, back to this “Strip Monopoly” game they are playing. First off, I'd like to know who set up the rates because if landing on a freshly bought Baltic require the loss of a shoe what happens with a hotel laden Boardwalk? My guess is some sort of ritual sex act...

Anywhoozle back to Brenda. At first during this scene I thought I was going to end up liking her, I mean after all she wanted to play Monopoly (See that Alice, she knows what is good!), in fact she even made up Strip Monopoly which combines two very fine past times(though not very well as I mentioned above). So what happened that made me turn on Brenda as quick as I did on that nutjob Alice? Well just take a gander at the posted picture.

See what the problem is? No? Let me help, after Brenda rolls the dice she exclaims “Double sixes, I get to go again” or something to that effect...Do you see the trouble now? Brenda is a filthy cheat and a liar, just take a look at the blown up version(I know it isn't as clear as I would have liked either) clearly you can see that the dice do now show a six and another six, they show a one and a two, yup good ol' Acey Ducey. So you see Brenda was a cheat and after that whatever she got she had coming to her!

But like I said, other than the one scene there I really enjoyed the movie. Especially since I suspect Beastie Boy involvement

¹ You should be able to tell this is pretty much completely tongue in cheek²

² But seriously..who hates Monopoly?

Sunday, July 01, 2007

I can't decide

Ok, so I probably shouldn't talk about this since I'm not supposed to have seen this yet. But I recently watched the series finale (in UK terms that is like a US season finale) of Doctor Who. I won't say anything about it in case anybody happens by that watches it in American time (aka months and months late) but I will say that John Simm is awesome!

But my real point in this post is because well frankly thanks to the finale I have a song stuck completely in my head. It is called "I can't decide" by Scissor Sisters.

Here is a video of the entire song (featuring video from a UK show called "Blackpool" coincidental also featuring David Tennant) I wish I had a way to see "Blackpool"

and just in case you want to have a taste of how great John Simm is and you want to see the song in the show here is a clip. Beware though, watching the video may inadvertently give away some spoilers.

And I am going to try and go knock the song out of my head by watching "Raging Bull"